Seven things to ask your ghostwriter (if that ghostwriter is me)
1. Do I have a book in me?
Yes. Yes, you do. Now that’s out of the way, let’s move on to the other stuff...
2. Would you be able to write that book for me?
Probably. We’re belting through these, aren’t we?
3. Do you only write women’s stories?
No – I have written with men (and cats, and dogs), and I will again, but they don’t actually ask as often as women do (the cats and dogs even less so). Recently, The Huffington Post said: ‘There is ample statistical evidence showing that adult women read more novels than men, attend more book clubs than men, use libraries more than men, buy more books than men, take more creative writing courses than men, and probably write more works of fiction than men. If, as a demographic, they suddenly stopped reading, the novel would nearly disappear.’ From where I’m sitting, it’s the same with non-fiction – women are the ones who get in touch 90% of the time. Now, that could be me. Maybe I look terrifying, maybe my backlist scares men off – or maybe men don’t have some of the same reference points.
Which leads me to the next question...
4. Do you only write ‘abuse’ memoirs?
Absolutely not.
I have written quite a lot of survivor stories, but I’ve written a lot of other genres too. When I started ghostwriting, the Dave Pelzer books had gained a lot of public attention, and those paved the way for this type of memoir. However, it was largely women reading them (or buying them, at least), and that showed in what was commissioned and, often, in how they were perceived. Abuse had been hidden for so long, survivors silenced, no one willing to listen, and then, suddenly, there was a possible outlet for some of those stories; statistically very few, but the ones which did get published gave hope and inspiration to those who were still dealing with abuse in one way or another. We’ve seen in the past, with the Barry Bennell case, that men are being heard too, that there are brave survivors out there who have been fighting for years to be heard, who have been shut down, and who have kept going – I have no doubt that this will give voice to more male authors who can now, thankfully, tell their stories too. It’s a genre that will, sadly, always be there – but it’s not the only one I ghost.
5. Is there anything you won’t write?
This is where I cut off my nose to spite my face. Ghostwriting is a bit like acting – you never know where, or when, the next job is coming from, so it’s probably daft to deny some potential streams of work, but, the answer to that question is a resounding ‘yes’. I will consider people whose lives I just don’t understand, who have different politics or values to me, but I will never write anything which glorifies the sex industry. There will be no happy hooker fantasies here. You draw your line in the sand, and I’ll draw mine – it’s not as if there’s a shortage of those willing to promote that angle after all.
6. Do you ghost fiction?
No. Or, not really... I don’t think so... possibly, with lots of caveats.
The truth is, I would have to put so much of myself into ghosting fiction that I’d be better taking the time to write one of the three million novels of my own that I never get around to doing. If someone came to me with a genuine fiction proposal, then I could be persuaded. It’s rarely like that. Here’s an example of what I get:
‘Client’: I have a fantastic idea for a novel.
Me: Do tell (rolls eyes, cooks dinner, stops dogs stealing dinner).
‘Client’: Well, I had this dream of something really spooky occurring on an oil rig.
Me: Oh – what happened?
‘Client’: That was it.
Me:That was what?
‘Client’: It would make a great book! Something terrifying on an oil rig – in the dark!
Me: That’s it?
‘Client’: Yes! I’d give you 20%!
That genuinely happened. You can see my dilemma.
7. What can I do to make your life easier?
No one has ever asked that so just indulge me for a second:
(a) Timeline – if you can get even the bare bones of a timeline, it makes everything so much easier for both of us;
(b) Prosecution/conviction – if it is a survivor memoir, and you are planning to approach traditional publishers and/or use your own name for self-publishing, having a conviction makes things a little more straightforward;
(c) Advice - be willing to take it and be open to all options, don’t hate me for being the one to try and delete things or for being the one who makes you go back and talk about the difficult stuff. Actually, you can hate me for a little bit, but just try my suggestions and see if they make sense.
(d) Focus – think about this project rather than the sequel or the TV series or the launch or the casting for the film or the merchandise. One step at a time.
(e) Read – my website, my other blogs, books I’ve written (Amazon has a page); you’ll get a lot of information on the process and you’ll get a sense of how I work.
Wait, there’s a number 8... Ask yourself if now is the time to do it. Go on – email. I’m expecting to be snowed in any second.